is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
