I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Are my feet made of real feet?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
