Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
