no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
