His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
