is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
