girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
