Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
