I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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