wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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