Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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