Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
