drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
