Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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