Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
