I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
smell my finger.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
