worst night to have a conscience
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
