doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
