i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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