thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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