i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just want nice things and good sex
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
