i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
