i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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