i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
