I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
