I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
