everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize