i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize