you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
