Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize