yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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