she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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