i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
