Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
