You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
