Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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