stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
