so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
