She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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