You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
