I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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