In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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