are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize