I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
