Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
