i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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