her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
