Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
