So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
