how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
