:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
