In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
