p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
