she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
