I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
